I’m Not Clicking with My Therapist

Photo Credit: Jake.Christopher. Flickr via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: Jake.Christopher. Flickr via Compfight cc

Your adolescent/young adult has decided to get professional help for the depression and anxiety they’ve been dealing with these last couple of months. After a few appointments with their new therapist, they feel like things just aren’t going well- maybe they don’t feel heard or understood, or they don’t feel like they’re getting the help they need, or maybe they sense a disconnect between themselves and the helping professional. Where do you and your adolescent/young adult go from here?

It can take a lot of courage to commit to going to therapy. And when things aren’t seeming to click between your adolescent or young adult and their therapist, it can be really disheartening. The good news is this is common for so many people. Finding the right fit can be a process, but getting the help your adolescent/young adult needs and deserves is absolutely worth it!

Some people connect with their therapist right away, but this is not the norm. Often, it is a trial-and-error process. While it’s good to give the helping process a chance for a few sessions, you’ve got to listen to your gut if you and your adolescent/young adult feel like things aren’t working after giving it some time. You’re adolescent/young adult-as the client- is in control of the sessions! When things aren’t going well, it might be good to encourage your adolescent/young adult to start by expressing their concerns to the therapist. Encourage your adolescent to let the therapist know that they aren’t getting what they need out of the sessions and make suggestions for how things could change for the better. It can be helpful to brainstorm these ideas with your adolescent beforehand, maybe even  make a list. Another option is to begin to look for another therapist, especially one that specializes in the care your adolescent/young adult needs (anxiety and depression, grief and loss). A great website that has a lot of information on therapists and their specialties is https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/

Do you have a story about the process of finding a therapist for your adolescent/young adult? We’d love to hear in the comments below!

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