Holiday stress. What does it come down to really? When you have anxiety, you worry about everything. For many people, those worries increase when they feel like something is expected of them in social situations. A lot of us might have ideas about what is expected out of us during the holidays…
- I’m supposed to be happy
- I’m supposed to be doing things with friends
- I’m supposed to be having fun
- I’m supposed to be giving gifts to people
- People expect me to be social
- People expect me to get them a gift they like
Wow and then when you have anxiety it doesn’t stop there. There are worries about the worries even. Let’s take one above.
- People expect me to show up to social things.
- What will I wear?
- Should I be a little late or show up on time?
- Am I supposed to bring a gift?
- Was I supposed to help out and I forgot?
- Who will be there?
- Will I run into someone who makes me nervous?
- How will I act?
- Will people think I look/act ridiculous?
If parents express their anxiety about the holidays – their kids can pick up on it too. If your child has anxiety, you might not think things like social events matter to them, but they will feel the stress too.
It helps to remember that there are plenty of holiday activities which you can do with your child that also relieve stress! Like enjoying a hot cup of cocoa, sitting by a fire, playing with pets, building a snow man, throwing snowballs, acting like a kid, holiday music, holiday movies, vacation, decorations.
Being mindful and enjoying the moment without jumping ahead to expectations and “supposed to” can help.
Another thing that can help is giving to those who really have no expectations that they will receive anything!
Volunteering and giving to others can help with stress and anxiety. These opportunities abound over the holidays. If your child seems sad or lonely during the holidays, try visiting a nursing home or senior center together. Or if older family members are visiting over the holidays, your child can reach out to them and capture their stories. Here is a neat project from dosomething.org about swapping stories with a senior.
And if all else fails, I am always cheered up by the Chipmunks on Christmas!
Do you have any other ideas about how to beat holiday stress?