Tying Self-Worth to Productivity, with a Little Shame Tossed in

The SOVA Project is happy to feature this blog post written by one in our team of fantastic SOVA Ambassadors—these are young people who help create meaningful blog posts from adolescents’ perspectives. We hope you can use their post to start a conversation with your adolescent.


Throughout these last few months, I have been struggling with the balance of being productive and giving myself grace. While not as busy, it often felt like many days have been spent aimlessly scrolling through my phone or computer for hours, but at the same time I had already gotten a workout in or did my classwork. This sense of lack of productivity has caused a lot of shame within myself, as it feels as though I am not living up to the standard I have set.

With this feeling of being unproductive to my standards (which is a “go-go-go” mentality until I’m wiped), I am learning to give myself some grace. Each day does not have to be hugely successful in accomplishing a million things.  In addition, some days will look different than others. For me personally, I try to accomplish at least these three things: moving my body for at least 30 minutes a day, drinking plenty of water, and practicing daily gratitude. Anything more than these three things should feel like a great accomplishment, which I am working on feeling proud of myself for.

So why does this feeling of shame kick in that I am not as productive as I want to be? I think a lot of it ties into falsely creating the idea that your self-worth is tied to productivity. I have read a lot of articles and books on how this ideology is a slippery slope if you do not catch yourself. If you only tie your self-worth to how productive you are, you will inevitably tear yourself down from the inside. It is a necessity to give yourself grace, especially during these times. It may be hard one day to the next, but I promise it will be better when you allow yourself balance in productivity and grace.

You are so much more than what you think you are. If you, too, are having a difficult time being hard on yourself for not being productive to your standards, I challenge you to think of all the reasons why your self-worth is more than what you do. Your self-worth is how you feel, how you love, how you act towards others, how you think, and so much more. So give yourself some credit and grace, because I know I am working on it too.


Is your child busy? Do they take breaks? Have you ever offered that they take breaks from things like school or work?

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