If you are told your child may have a mental illness, you might project onto their future pictures of other family members (or even of yourself) who have struggled with mental illness.
Mental illness is common, and many of us have been affected or have family members who have been ill. It’s especially hard to watch family members struggle when they haven’t received treatment.
Maybe they are someone whose company you enjoy sometimes—but other times you feel let down because they neglect you or hurt your feelings. When a person has an untreated mental illness, it often means they don’t do the things that would take care of themselves—and if they’re not being good to themselves, it is hard for them to cultivate quality relationships with others, even the people they love.
Because of this, being told your child may have a mental illness can cause anxiety—you might predict their life will be full of struggle, and that is not something you want for them. It’s understandable that you might worry or be upset. Let yourself accept that you feel that way—and then take some time to think about it a little more. It’s true that mental illness can run in families, yet every person is unique and mental illnesses affect each person in a different way.
Also, we are learning more and more about treating mental illness. Some of our older family members may not have received enough treatment when they were younger, and we know getting treatment when you are younger leads to better outcomes.
If you feel this way, remember we are like our family and then we are not like our family. Focus on yourself and your child. Sometimes when we do that, others notice, and in time, they help themselves as well.
Also, keep in mind that our genetics are not set in stone!—read our post about epigenetics to find out more about that.
Have you worried that your child’s life would be similar to a family member’s who struggles with mental illness? How did you cope with these concerns?